Saturday (what's been pieced together so far)

 Okay, so started the night at Jake's, drinking a bit of beer and vodka. Woke up at home, confused and bleary, at about 11. Here's what I've found out happened in between.

So at Jake's a get a bit drunk, last thing i remember is hugging a east-European pizza man who seemed uncomfortable, possibly because we all greeted him in our boxers and I was hugging him half-naked. Then, in no particular order, I set fire to my hair, set fire to my shoe, did some more shit, then on the way home punched a lamp-post, threw some bins at some street signs, threw a bin at a bus, lost my phone, was about to throw a bin at another street-sign when me and Joe were passed by a police car with sirens on chasing some other people, though the guys inside did stare bemusedly at me apparently. Then we parted at the 02 centre at about 3, I got on the N31 somewhere, got on the tube somewhere, got off Hampstead, and eventually got home.

That excludes all the texts off course, the highlights of which include:
-Asking dan if he has a 9 inch cock;
-telling someone random that one person likes another person(which apparently is also untrue);
-after having been asked by Matty if I was drunk replying "no, you're drunk" (albeit with many more typos)
-sending Anna loads of incoherent texts except part of one which quite clearly asked something about her party.

What I remember drinking includes 2 beers, 5/6 shots of vodka from an egg-cup, 2 mugs of vodka-juice, 2 mugs of scotch-lemon juice(which burnt my throat like fuck).

So moral of the story? I'm a jokes drunk, and should probably never drink liquor again.

Also, before you ask, yes, the pizza was yummy as fuck, In fact, I'm going to endorse domino's here.

Escaping from American Whales

basically, me, jack and dan were at the tube station getting back from loddy's, and the 4 ugliest american girls you could imagine, 2 obese caucasians and 2 just ugly black girls, started hitting on us. Elevator down, they were with us, but then at the platform we "accidentally" got on a different carriage. Some guys in the same carriage were clearly laughing at our poor circumstances, and the next station we got off, which seemed like a massive par, but we had to anyway, and as soon as we turned the corner ran, much to the amusement of the guys who got off as well. Fuck we were lucky, they were trying to rape us.

In other news, we had a jokes night, except robbie and hannah didn't show because they're cocks, and I didn't get to finish all 12 of my beers. Weeks been pretty good, had random test in history today, but luckily we were allowed to use essay plans from ages ago, so wasn't too bad. Mccombes banter is lively as ever, re-enactment of Napolean's battle tactics the other day in central hall was jokes, as was our discussion of bourgeois foods and  funny shit like that.

Anyway, that's all for me for tonight, lads, so have a good one.

New deal

How about I do a blog every 2 days? That'll give me more time and means i won't run out of topics as quickly. Few thoughts of the day were about how much easier it would be to become internet-famous rather than do work, like Charlie Mcdonnel or Alex Day, who do youtube videos and play in a band for money instead of working. They have similar backgrounds to me (London teens, or at least they were when they started) so I think they're probably a better example than someone like Craig Benzine, a 30 year old asthmatic from Chicago (but to be fair, he's better).

Also in my thoughts of today was "at what point during the school week is it socially acceptable for me to drink" and "if my sleep-schedule is completely fucked off compared to everyone else's, does that mean I can drink in the mornings?". But those are silly thoughts, so let's ignore them for now, eh?

What else? Oh yeah, Chuck's awesome, as usual (link if you've never heard of it), and work is not getting done. Think there was something else, but can't remember it. I'm sure if it;s important it'll turn up somewhere. Should check behind the sofa...

Anyway, bye all, I'm gonna go do something unproductive. Like sleep.

Hello there, sonny jim

Was thinking about possibly writing a blog for a while now. You know, just for my own interest rather than anything else. In fact I'd be surprised if anyone else actually read this. But anyways, I eventually only created this account so I could post a comment on Matty's blog where I could make an in-joke. Who said comedy never did anything productive? No-one, that's who.

Well I'll probably only make posts when something of interest happens, or whenever I feel a particular rant coming along, but theoretically it would be good if I could look back on this later and try and piece together what I did, like a man waking up after a heavy night with just a load of texts on his phone and a hangover. But what makes this extra cool is that pirate captains used to do it, and I like to see myself as a modern-day pirate. As in I talk and dress funny, attack people for shits and giggles, and drink a lot, rather than the boring Somalian kind that are all the rage nowadays.