Saturday 26 March 2011

Abusing Democracy

Well, I realised that this weekend I had a slew of homework to do, I though I should write a letter of complaint to my local on a matter which has affected me deeply. Here is the letter I sent:

Dear Ms Jackson,
I am a concerned member of the Hampstead and Kilburn society, who has recently been outraged by a travesty that has occurred in the area. This cruel abomination has wreaked untold havoc upon my life, and a journey which I make twice a day has become a painful odyssey, though for me it used to be a calming and relaxing part of my day. As a result of this horror I have felt much more stressed out and depressed than I ever used to! I know I am not the only person to be affected by this loathsome offence, as I have discussed the matter with many people who have also had their minds torn asunder due to the severity of this inhumane atrocity. I would rather live under a Napoleonic dictatorship than be part of a society which allows such a sordid and vile thing! I believe such an act should be punishable in the same way that disregarding the Geneva Convention is, and that the perpetrator of the crime should be forced to recompense all those affected by his reprehensible offence!
I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. Yes, the red mushroom which previously stood on the wall opposite the Spaniard's Inn just before the phone box has been removed! I am sure that this isn't the only letter you will receive about this, as I am well aware that the Spaniard's Road is used by a plethora of people on their daily journeys, who used to enjoy their routines but now must make Herculean efforts to repeat it daily. This hellish torment must end, and I must regrettably inform you that if this travesty is not addressed, I would be unable to bring myself to vote for you again. I feel as though I am suddenly being interrogated by some sort of Spanish Inquisition, and as I did not expect this, it is doubly troubling. 
I believe that this vile act of vandalism must be repaired! Though I accept that to rebuild such a monument will surely take time, if it is not replaced by September, I will be forced to move out of the constituency, and maybe even the borough itself. I do not mean to place such a burden upon your shoulders, one which even Atlas would be unable to carry, but it is these weighty issues which you, as an upstanding and proud member of the community, has chosen to tackle, and I commend you for it! 
Many thanks, Chris
 Yeah, so I'll tell you all how that goes. Apparently she's legally obliged to reply to me, which makes it all the more fun. And apologies to Dan for not including him in this, I thought it would just take too long, and we do need this subject to be addressed as soon as possible. This took precedence over coursework. Plus I can do this without being a hypocrite because democracy is stupid and too romantic a political notion to work properly, like communism, but much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much less stupid. Because everything is.

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